First it's announced that Courtney Cox and David Arquette are separating after 11 years of marriage, and then we hear that Christina Aguilera and her husband of nearly 5 years announced their separation today as well!
Watching HLN's Showbiz Tonight (as I sometimes do for Hollywood news and gossip), they were just talking about the Arquette split, playing clips of David Arquette on Howard Stern where he admitted that he's changed since they first met 16 years ago - he's not as charming as he was back then, he's gotten more mellow, etc and that their sex life isn't as active as it once was.
Hello! People change over the years - it's a fact! No one stays the same way they are the beginning of a relationship - that's why they refer to it as "the honeymoon period."
I keep having to explain this to my teenage sister, as she complains that the guys she dates all start out sweet, caring, overly romantic and they can't seem to get enough of each other and then suddenly, months down the road the guy decides he wants his space and doesn't want to spend every single day with her and isn't doing cute, sweet, romantic little things for her like he did earlier.
It's called nesting!
You get in a new relationship, things are fun and exciting - there's so much new to learn about the person (even if you've known them for years) and things feel so much different than they did in the previous relationship... but then the honeymoon period wears off and you start to nest. You don't need to to constantly impress or woo the person you're seeing anymore because you know they love you regardless (or at least by then they should) and you start to nest into a comfortable groove or routine - usually together and you grow from there.
I'm sure if you ask ANYONE who's been married for years - 5, 10, 20, 25... even 50! - and I'm pretty sure they'll tell you that they're not the same person they were all those years ago when they first started dating/courting or when they got married. I know I'm not the same person I was 2 years ago, or even 4 years ago when we first started dating - I've grown a little bit, hubby has too.
And the sex... not to get into details, but like one of the commentators on Showbiz tonight said, when you've been married for awhile AND you have kids, going a month without sex isn't uncommon! I'll admit, our sex life isn't quite as active as it once was and we've only been married 2 years. I have friends with multiple kids and I've heard that with work and taking care of the kids, especially when they're young, it's hard to make time for it and unless you think to make time for it, it often doesn't happen!
And regarding Christina and her husband, the reason behind their split?
Here's what US Magazine online reports:
“They were very much in love,” explains the insider. "But over the last six months, it became clear they were more like friends than husband and wife."
Forgive me if I'm wrong here, but isn't your spouse supposed to be your best friend in this world? The person you tell everything to, the person you trust with everything? The person you're closest with? Your faithful, loyal companion? I'd say your spouse is supposed to be your ultimate friend and companion!
So they're splitting because they seem to be more like best friends than husband and wife? I think that's a bit ridiculous! I'm curious to hear what their definition of husband and wife are...
Marriage is a lifetime commitment - for better or for worse. Unless something major happens in your marriage (ie: abuse, infidelity, etc) there is no excuse for throwing in the ball just because things aren't as sizzling, spicy, or romantic like they once were back in the day. Even in life, no one stays the same way forever!
So far, both couples have only separated, which means they're still legally together and there hasn't been talk (in the media at least) of divorce, so hopefully maybe these couples will be able to work out their issues and realize what marriage really is and that their alleged reasons for their separations are a bit stupid.
I really hope this isn't some publicity stunt though - Cox and Arquette are both co-starring in the upcoming Scream 4 which comes out this spring but is already getting some buzz; and Christina has a starring lead role in a major feature film (called Burlesque) due out in next month. Both couples have young kids - The Arquette's have a 6 year old daughter, while Christina and her husband have a 2 year old son. If this is some publicity stunt, shame on them for putting their kids through that for the sake of media coverage!