tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8708101437720447541.post1052186398195386268..comments2023-12-14T07:33:35.446-06:00Comments on Point Me to the Sky Above...: Celebs & Marriage - Is There No Commitment??RAY Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07554153079752212370noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8708101437720447541.post-60498446733602435362010-10-13T14:33:42.741-05:002010-10-13T14:33:42.741-05:00Couldn't agree with you more, RachelCouldn't agree with you more, Racheldesireejaclynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15717108155650984753noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8708101437720447541.post-81816662161788968402010-10-13T12:50:52.953-05:002010-10-13T12:50:52.953-05:00That wasn't why I broke up with Brett though -...That wasn't why I broke up with Brett though - I broke up with him because, while he was a bit of an unmotivated lazyass from the beginning, I figured he'd eventually grow up and want to make something of his life, that he'd want to have a future... I broke up with him because I just couldn't see a future together with him anymore - it's kind of hard to take someone serious when they say they want to marry you "someday" when they're too lazy to go to class to finish their education to get the job they've always talked about or when they're too lazy to even go out and get a part-time job - living off mommy and daddy, how in the world did he expect to ever be able to get me a ring to propose with?! And obviously I made the right choice as he's, what, 28 now and still living at home with mom and dad, having been in one college or another for over a decade because he keeps failing out... at least he finally got a part-time job.<br /><br />And the big difference is, we weren't married. <br /><br />There's a different level of commitment between marriage and dating. With dating, if it's not working out, then you can easily leave. Marriage though takes work because it's a commitment you make in front of everyone and vows should be treated as something of importance. I've never heard of any marriage vows that include the line "for better or until the going gets tough..."<br /><br />Maybe it's cuz I'm taking the viewpoint from being married myself, while yours is of the viewpoint of someone who hasn't been there yet. <br /><br />Yes, everyone's entitled to happiness, but it seems some people (especially in Hollywood) just throw in the towel too quickly without even trying to get to the root of the problem and try to fix it - they just say "oh, well, things aren't all mushy and the same as they were 5 years ago... time to move on." If you can't be happy past the "honeymoon period" of a relationship then you're never going to be happy long-term in a life-long committed marriage because eventually that honeymoon period ends and you both begin to nest.RAY Jhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07554153079752212370noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8708101437720447541.post-44891379218410828312010-10-13T11:10:32.806-05:002010-10-13T11:10:32.806-05:00The only thing I disagree with, Rach, is that &quo...The only thing I disagree with, Rach, is that "feeling more like best friends than husband and wife" is a valid reason.<br /><br />Yes, your spouse should, in theory, be your best friend. But your best friend shouldn't necessarily be your spouse. Heck, Josh is one of my best friends, does that mean he and I should go out to California and get married? No. And remember back to before you fell in love with Josh, back when you were with Brett and Josh was just your best friend. Don't you feel something now that is greatly different from then? THAT is what they are talking about. The romance is gone, and I am not talking about "he brought her flowers just because" kinda romance. I am talking the actual romantic interest and love. If you no longer even consider your spouse to be of sexual or romantic interest anymore, it is, perhaps, time for a split (especially if you have kids) while you are still on good terms. The flip side is staying together (out of stubbornness for holding true to your commitment or for the kids or whatever reason) and ending up resenting each other and hating each other and fighting all the time. How is that even remotely healthy?<br /><br />Shouldn't both parties be free to try to find happiness?Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06917866165382477938noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8708101437720447541.post-46122011036868438942010-10-13T11:00:02.948-05:002010-10-13T11:00:02.948-05:00I couldn't agree more! I think it's ridic...I couldn't agree more! I think it's ridiculous the way Hollywood treats marriage. It's like this thing that's not really a big deal, if suddenly it's not all fun and romance let's just toss it out. Makes me so angry. <br /><br />I've been married for three years, and while some things have changed (especially, like you said, with the addition of our two children), we are still very much in love and make an EFFORT to be intimate and do romantic things for each other. It's not something that self-maintains. You have to work at it!Leighhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17834434737356199955noreply@blogger.com