Not only is today Valentine's Day, but it also marks the 4 year "anniversary" of the tragic shooting at my Alma Mater, Northern Illinois University.
I had just graduated 2 months prior, however I still lived just off campus, had friends and employees still attending there and worked a job where I interacted with the NIU community on a daily basis.
I've mentioned it every year since (feel free to click on February 14 of every year in the archives down the left side of the blog to see past posts), and this year is no different.
To me it's a day of remembrance.
Remembering how the campus and community came together in the wake of the tragedy. Remembering how the building - the very lecture hall I and many others had several gen-ed classes in - was tainted due to the horrific shooting that occurred in it. Wondering why our state is one of the last to allow concealed carry as several of the ROTC students I knew at the time all said that if concealed carry were allowed any ROTC student in the lecture hall could have stopped the killer before he fatally harmed anyone in the time it took for security to arrive. Why our campus? Why our school? Why? He wasn't even a current student there! As far as we know, he didn't even know any of the victims he killed or shot!
Forward together, forward Huskies.
They did recently reopen Cole Hall at the start of this semester, after giving it a $6M facelift and renovating the inside. Like many who were around during the time of the shooting though, I'll admit, I do have mixed feelings about it.
I participated in the Valentine's Day Swap hosted by the lovely ladies Tara, Celia and Meg!
I've been a bit hesitant regarding swaps lately, as I seem to have a 1 in 3 chance of having a crummy partner, but I was blessed this time to be paired up with the wonderful Silvergirl - Brett!
Looking over her blog, she is an older gal, reminding me much of my mother-in-law (which unlike some, I got lucky and happen to have a pretty cool mother-in-law!), as she strives to find affordable fashion and style for women over 45! She also owns Silver Needle Designs which personalizes and monograms a variety of items!
Here's my goodies she sent me (which arrived SUPER early too!):
There's a cute pocket journal/notepad (love the colors!), a Valentine's Day mix CD, some Valentine's Day themed travel tissue (which comes in handy!), some Liplicious vanilla lipgloss (yum!), a personalized RayJ keychain that she made for me via her Silver Needle Designs company, her lovely note, and CHOCOLATE!!!
Not gonna lie, I started munching on the chocolate as soon as I opened it, lol... it was gone before Valentine's Day arrived! (Oops!).
Thank you Brett for being such a great swap partner! I hope you enjoyed your goodies I sent!
My sister linked to this on Facebook the other day and they're just too cute not to share!
If you're still looking for Valentine's cards that are cheap and easy to put together for your kids to pass out to their friends next week, check out these super cute (and funny!) Star Wars Valentine's Day cards!!!
You can download the PDF (as well as a cute envelope template) from the StarWars.com activity page. There's 4 different Valentine's you can print and cut out (as seen above). They are pretty darn cute though! Too bad Jay doesn't have little friend's to pass Valentine's out to yet though - these would be great! I did download the page though and saved the PDF so maybe sometime in the future!
In honor of Valentine's Day, I'm linking-up Becky from Mrs to Mama for a fun Valentine's Day link-up!
1. How long have you and your significant other been together?
Well... we 1st met back in December 1997, so we've known each for a little over 14 years now, but we didn't become a couple until December 2006, so just over 5 years!
2. How did you meet? {What's your "love" story?}
We met in Jr. High Sunday school. I've written about it before, but here's the shortened version - he approached me after Sunday school one morning and gave me a little folded up piece of paper before running off. It happened to be a love poem he had written me (let's all say "awww"). We proceeded to be friends throughout high school and into college but didn't start dating til the later half of my college years.
3. If married, how long have you been married?
We just celebrated our 3 year anniversary this past September.
4. If you are married, where did you get married at? Big or small wedding?
We got married here in our hometown. We didn't have HUGE wedding like some people we know, but it wasn't exactly tiny either... I think, counting our wedding party and their dates/spouses, we had just under 150 people come. Many relatives of mine I hadn't seen in years (or ever!) and lot of my in-laws ministry sponsors. If we were to do it again I probably would have had my mother-in-law cut her guest list more as it was literally half the guest list she took up (in her defense, she honestly thought most of them wouldn't come, but wanted to send a courtesy invite... yeah... most of them came.)
5. Do you have any nick-names that you call one another?Do share!
Nothing real corny or cheesy like in my past relationships - ours our simple, he calls me Baby, I call him Hon (short for Honey).
6. Name 3 things you love most about your honey.
His head is on pretty straight for the most part, he has ambition and goals, he takes care of us.
7. Tell us how he proposed?
He proposed in a way that totally threw me off. I knew it was coming, but graduation had come and gone, as did Christmas and New Years so I kinda figured maybe he'd do it around Valentine's Day... so I was completely thrown off when he did it at post-church lunch at Chili's the 1st Sunday of the new year with his brother and his brother's jailbait girlfriend sitting at the table with us. Obviously he had planned it, but to me it was totally random as it's not like Chili's is "our" place or anything (I don't recall ever having been there with him prior! LOL). Anyways, we were discussing when he should schedule his 2 vacation weeks for work as he has to submit those in January and I told him it all depended on him and he finished my sentence by asking if it all depended on him asking me to marry him, in which he got down on 1 knee and asked.
8. Is he a flowers and teddy bear kind of guy for v-day, or strawberries, champagne, and rose petals?
Well, he's not a fan of giving flowers because he doesn't see the point - they wither and die within days which seems like a crappy gift (and is why he gets me several wooden roses from the fair every summer). But he's not exactly the most romantic either... I guess you could say he's more practical when it comes to gift giving, getting me something he knows I want and will make use of.
9. Are you a sunset dinner on the beach kind of girl, or popa movie in and relax on the couch?
Dinner on the beach sounds romantic, but in reality, we spend more time sitting on the couch watching movies (either DVDs or whatever's playing on TV).
10. Tell us one thing you'd like to do with your significant one day. If you could do anything? Go anywhere?
Travel to a different country - maybe a tour through Europe, or to the Australian outback... maybe relaxing on a beach down south... something like that that we've never done before.
11. Tell us what you plan on doing on this Valentine's Day.
Probably dressing up for our usual Valentine's dinner date, maybe a movie... not sure if Jay will be joining us or staying with a sitter - that's still TBD.
12. Are you asking for anything this Valentine's day?
Nope. I honestly have no suggestions as I've been finding it hard to come up with ideas for what I want these days as I tend to focus more on Jay.
13. Give us one piece of advice of keeping a relationship strong and full of love.
Communication is key - we're not mind-readers (or at least the majority aren't) so unless you talk out how you're feeling if something is bothering you or you feel hurt, your partner might have no clue. If you want your relationship to be successful you MUST communicate to each other.
14. Show us a picture of what love means to you.
Old people still in love after all those years... really shows you that love really can last forever!
But apparently some people weren't feeling the love.
Me with our little valentine =)
Jay had his 1st doctor's appointment yesterday and while he seems to be perfectly healthy, we learned the results of his ultrasound that one of his kidney's is indeed blocked - something called Hydronephrosis - and we're meeting with a pediatric urologist in a few weeks to begin monitoring it and assessing it. Hopefully it's only mild and we can just continue monitoring it with hope that as he grows it'll unblock on its own (as often is the case), otherwise if it's serious we might have to consider surgery which I would rather not have happen.
Anyways, the gave us a prescription to give him for 30 days to prevent and treat any possible infection that might occur from urine or fluid being trapped in the kidney and unable to get out, so I stopped by Walgreens on our way home to drop it off, thinking hubby could pick it up on his way home from work.
As I'm coming around the entrance to Walgreens via the side alley there, I'm sitting at the stop sign waiting for this truck in the parking spot ahead to back out. Well, the guy is backing *really* fast and literally was coming within a foot or 2 of my front bumper so I blew my horn, making sure he saw me and didn't continue to back up over me! Not sure what his deal was but the guy stuck his big redneck arm out the window, flipping me off and yelling "f-you!" before peeling out of the parking lot! The people leaving the store seemed about as confused as I was.
Hubby also had an incident about an hour later when he went to pick up the prescription. Because Jay was new in their system, it took a little longer than normal to pick it up. The middle-aged woman in the car behind hubby was getting impatient and I guess she started yelling and screaming at him for taking too long, eventually flicking him off as well!
We didn't let that ruin our day though - my mom came over to watch Jay for the evening so hubby and I could go out for a nice dinner at Red Lobster just the 2 of us. Surprisingly I had never been to Red Lobster before - aside from cod and fishsticks, I didn't really eat much fish until the last few years when I discovered salmon. We got their 3 course meal for 2 for $30 and it was pretty good! We didn't exchange gifts this year - Jay's our little valentine this year =)
It's a date romantics love, couples celebrate, and singles despise.
For me and my fellow NIU Huskies, past and present, it hasn't just been a lovey-dovey holiday to us for 2 years now.
While today is a day where most celebrate (or loathe) love, romance and relationship, for us, it's also a day of remembrance and sadness.
For those who may have forgotten or were unaware, today is the 2 year "anniversary" of the shooting that happened on-campus. I put anniversary in quotes, because, well I usually associate the word anniversary with celebration, and in no way am I celebratory about a shooting that rocked the world of those of us that were there.
You never think it will actually happen at your school, until it does. You can only imagine the pain and sadness and overwhelming confusion and fear that you see the campus going through on the news.Once you experience something like that in your community - a community you were close to at the time - it completely changes you.
Looking through the Facebook statuses of fellow alumni who were there, I thought this year I'd share some of their thoughts, in addition to mine and the standard "Forward Together Forward" phrase that became our school's motto.
An ex of mine, whom I am still on good speaking terms with posts:
"The past two years have painted quite a pall upon this holiday, and yet still I strive to see the good in it."
My friend and former college newspaper co-worker Desiree, over at Diary of a Wannabe Health Freak, who was actually trapped inside the classroom where the shooting occurred writes:
"My life forever changed on February 14th, 2008. {{ Cole Hall 3:06 p.m. I will never forget }} R.I.P. ♥ Gayle, Dan, Catalina, Ryanne, Julianna. ♥ Forward, Together Forward."
"Valentine's Day will never mean to me what it does to everyone else. Never forget 2.14.2008."
A girl who lived on the same dorm floor as me my freshman wrote 2 posts:
"Two years ago, Valentine's Day took on a different meaning for me and my NIU Family....and so this picture of my graduation from NIU in May 2008 represents where my heart is (with [my boyfriend]) and where my thoughts are (with my fellow Huskies)."
"...today is the day to tell your loved ones how you feel about them so they know...because you never know when you will lose the chance. ♥ Forward, Together Forward ♥"
A former classmate posts:
2.14.08 God Bless the Huskies in Heaven
Jessi, over at The Girl with Kaleidoscope Eyes, who, while not a Huskie, has been and is part of the community of DeKalb that was affected by the tragedy, writes:
"Today we are all Huskies. 2.14.08"
Another former college newspaper co-worker posts:
"Happy Valentine's Day! Tell someone you love them, and never forget this day at NIU in 2008. I know I won't."
And I'm sure there will be more to come as the day progresses.
There is also a memorial service tonight as well.
Forward, Together, Forward - we will never forget.
I came across this article awhile back and I happen to think a lot of it is good advice. Since Valentine's Day is just 2 days away and a lot of women, whether single or in a relationship, tend to go into that lovey-dovey mode this time of the year I thought I'd share it.
Ladies, before you decide to tie the knot, make sure you haven't missed out on some important life experiences every woman should experience.
Live by herself for at least a year.
Live with someone else for at least a year.
Recover from a broken heart.
Have a vacation fling.
(this don't mean you have to sleep with them, but a little summer romance/crush never hurt anyone!)
Take a road-trip with a group of girlfriends.
Relish sleeping in a queen-sized bed by herself.
Get her finances in order.
Learn to love her body.
Have sex with at least one person she’d never want to marry (or introduce to mom).
(Now I don't think you necessarily need to have sex with someone, but as the quote by Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings goes, “A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be thankful for a good one” which I fully agree with and believe this statement goes more along the lines of that quote.
Find reliable birth control.
Pay off as much credit card debt and student loans as possible.
(Once you get married, your debt becomes theirs and vice versa!)
Driving home today I heard one of my favorite rock ballads from the 90s on the radio and since Valentine's Day is this weekend I thought it might be fun to share some more of my favorite rock/alternative ballads of the 90s.
Tonic - "If You Could Only See"
"If you could only see the way she loves me, maybe you would understand why I feel this way about our love and what I must do... If you could only see how blue her eyes can be when she says she loves me..."
I loved this song as a kid in junior high. It starts out simple with a guitar and then kicks in the bass and drums. It was music to my ears!
Candlebox - "Far Behind"
This was the ballad I heard on the radio that inspired this post.
While I was only in 3rd or 4th grade at the time this song was released, I wasn't introduced to it until I was in high school and I completely fell in love with it. Musically it's strong, lyrically, it's got one of those choruses and hooks that you can easily sing along with in the car (which I often do when this one comes on).
Guns 'N Roses - "November Rain"
Amusing story behind this one - the summer between 7th and 8th grade (summer 1997) I had an internet boyfriend. Now this back before sites like eHarmony, match.com, chemistry.com, etc were household names and if you told anyone you were dating someone online, you'd get strange looks and people would try to tell you that your relationship didn't count. But it did for me and my internet boyfriend. We'd chat online regularly through Prodigy Classic's early form of an instant messenger and on rare occasions we'd sneak phone calls to each other where he would sometimes play me songs on his guitar, including Guns and Roses. I want to say he played me part of this one too and that's how it became "our song." Eventually my parents found out I had an online boyfriend and freaked (as most parents would back then), cut communication for awhile and eventually we both moved on in life.
But I still remember this song. They lyrics are sweet and rolling in at 9 minutes long, this ballad tells a story. I also love how it's in 3 different movements: the first is soft with piano, then the 2nd is the main melody - the body of the song - where it combines all the elements such as guitars, drums, strings, etc, then the third - my favorite - you have all the same elements, but throw in some neat guitar shredding by Slash combined with the heaviness of the piano and strings and WOW! You got yourself something REALLY NEAT going on!
Bush - "Glycerine"
"Don't let the days go by..."
Ahhh Gavin Rossdale, how do I <3 thee! Gwen Stefani is one lucky lady!
This was another song I fell in love with back in junior high. This one starts out with just Gavin gently playing a guitar with some very subtle bass and then the strings chime in. What makes this song work is that it has beautiful build up to the chorus, then it quiets down, working it's way back up each time. With Gavin's vocals and the strings it gives it that rock ballad edge without going over the top or ever getting really really heavy like some rock ballads do.
The Smashing Pumpkins - "Tonight, Tonight"
I remember being fascinated by this video when I was in 6th grade and as I grew older I fell in love with this song. The neat thing about it is that musically, the entire song is one big build up to the climax near the very end of the song. With each verse and chorus it just builds and builds to that one moment when Billy Corgan asks "Believe in me, 'cuz I believe in you" and then it dies down and closes out in a matter of seconds. Genius!
Eagle Eye Cherry - "Save Tonight"
This song was a staple of my freshman year of high school. I remember handwriting out the lyrics on a piece of paper after recording it off the radio and spending some time stopping and starting the cassette to write it all down and then singing it with my friends at school. This is a great combination of music, lyrics and vocals that works so well together.
Foo Fighters - "Everlong"
"If everything could ever feel this real forever... If anything could ever be this good again... The only thing I'll ever ask of you - You've got to promise not to stop when I say when..."
First time I saw this video, I couldn't stop laughing at the guys in drag. Musically though, this is probably one of the top rock ballads of my generation.
Gin Blossoms - "Follow You Down"
Another one I loved back in 6th grade. I loved the harmonica, guitars and rhythm in this one. I also get excited when they use this one in chick flicks, usually when one of the main characters realize they're in love with the other and have to go chase them down (such as in "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days").
Van Halen - "I Can't Stop Loving You"
While Van Halen has had several lead singers over their career, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say I didn't mind the Van Hagar years. While the band wasn't as heavy with Hagar as it was with Roth, they did produce some pretty powerful powerhouse songs, such as this one and "Right Now." Sure it's different, but this was a great ballad for them!
Bon Jovi - "Always"
I remember being in grade school when I first saw this video at my friend's house and WOW! Talk about some heavy stuff going on here - I loved it!
Aerosmith - "Cryin'"
Spacehog - "In the Meanwhile"
Honorable mentions that fall more along the lines of being 90s pop/rock love songs
