Too Sexy, Too Soon?

Well since the abortion/abortion survivor topic in my last 'note' got quite a bit of response, here's another topic up for discussion!

Checking my personal email in my free time today, there was a link on the main hotmail page leading to this story - Too Sexy Too Soon.

The article talks about how kids - children - today are being influenced and taught at younger ages about sex appeal. "The authors explore a culture where grade-schoolers want to dress like go-go dancers, 10-year-old boys have seen Internet porn, and 13-year-olds talk casually about oral sex."

Granted, growing up my parents were pretty strict on me (as is typical of 1st borns), especially when it came to what I wore. There were things my friends would wear, that I was not allowed to wear. I wasn't allowed to wear strappy tank tops/cami's or any other shirt that revealed bra straps without wearing something else over it - showing cleavage was out of the question! Up until my sophomore year of high school I could only wear jeans twice a week to school and on Wednesdays, when we had chapel (remember I went to a private school), I had to wear a skirt. I was always taught to wear your Sunday Best for church. Skirts and shorts that went more than halfway up my thigh or showed my butt when I bent over were not acceptable. I also recall not being allowed to wear glitter gel (which was popular back in the day!) and my dad getting extremely upset the one time I did and saying that only sluts wear glitter gel. Looking back, it probably was a bit extreme and my sister's lucky they've loosened up a bit since then (my dad does not recall his glitter comments, lol), but at the same time, it gave me a sense of modesty and decency.

Obviously, I don't dress like that anymore - I'm most commonly found wearing jeans and a strappy tank top. But at the same time, I'm not running around with everything falling out.

As I mentioned, I used to wear skirts twice a week. Now these were long skirts by choice. The reason being, I've never liked my thighs and playing soccer for 5 years straight didn't help it any. I wear shorter skirts now, but they're usually about knee length, as I'm not comfortable risking having people get a glimpse at my butt.

I do show a little cleavage sometimes as well - it does get attention and what girl doesn't want a little attention? It helps boost your esteem knowing that people notice you. I'm not talking about falling out of your top and/or flaunting it - there's difference between classy and trashy. When Josh and I go out, I take a little extra time to make myself up. Why? Because him I want him to feel like he's the luckiest guy in the room with the beautiful woman on his arm.

The difference though, is that I still try to stay modest and decent. Like I said, you can look classy without dressing trashy.

I don't understand parents who let their kids run around looking like they hang with Paris Hilton. Yes, I feel my parents were a little extreme when it came to what I wore back then, but at the same time, I don't think kids need to be running around, with g-strings sticking out the top of their pants in jr high and high school either.

It's sad that kids are being exposed to sex and sex appeal at such young ages - whatever happened to the innocence of childhood? At 12 and 13, most of us had crushes, not sex.

When I went to school, even the public schools had dress codes. Granted at my school, only select faculty tried to enforce it, but still, there was some sort of a standard to be followed for what was appropriate and what wasn't.

And as sad as it, when you dress with your boobs about to fall out and your butt showing, you're putting yourself at risk for unwanted attention and it gives mixed signals. Yes, guys should respect a woman and behave, but do you honestly think they're not going to notice? Guys tend to think with their dick. Not all men can control themselves and behave as gentlemen. In a perfect world, yes, a woman should be able to wear whatever she wants and not be judged or worry about a man attacking her. But it happens.

In the article it says:
"When a girl has learned early on that what matters most is how sexy she is, then by the time she hits the tween years, the message is already deep in her psyche and it just becomes louder and more harmful. Sex gets speeded up — 12- and 13-year-olds are doing what 16-year-olds used to do, and by the time they're 16, many are already blasé about casual sex. That's when you hear about "friends with benefits" and kids thinking about sex as being separate from a relationship. This not only puts them at physical risk for STDs, unwanted pregnancy, or even date rape, but they also lose the chance to develop the empathy and compassion that are necessary to make intimate relationships work later on."

Why aren't more parents protecting their kids? You can still be the 'cool mom' or the 'cool dad' and teach your kids right from wrong, appropriate from inappropriate. It's for their own safety and well-being later on down the road.

It's sad that kids as young as 10, who are perfectly healthy and normal, think they're fat because they're not as skinny or as 'glamorous' as... Miley Cyrus, the HSM girls, etc. It pains me to hear that - that society and our culture is already having that kind of negative effect on young little girls.

And it's sad that sleazy dramas marketed towards youth have this much of an impact on our culture and way of living. A lot the stuff kids see on MTV and tv, they copy. Granted it's always been that way, but the styles have changed a lot in the last 10-15 years. Since when did it become acceptable for our kids to wear tops with necklines plunging down to there? Or shaking their booty suggestively to the boys at Jr high and high school dances, like they're in some nightclub? Why are we throwing sex at our kids at young ages and allowing it? Do we really want our babies to have babies?

MTV has great show called "Sex with Mom and Dad." The premise is, the teen/young adult is sexually active or wants to but don't think they can talk to mom and dad about it, so they have a family meeting with infamous Dr. Drew Pinksey to discuss and usually the kid admits to mom and dad of already sleeping down and half the time they're not using any protection. This one girl, at 19 already had over 25 partners, with 2/3 of them being 1 night stands she could barely recall the names of, and she never used protection. I think what Dr. Drew is doing for these families is great - he's educating the kid while getting them to open up to mom and dad and at the same getting mom and dad to accept the fact that their 18+ kid is an adult and not a child who can handle grown up discussions with mom and dad. At the same time though, is this show causing more harm to society? Kids, preteens and teens who watch this are getting educated and being taught that it's normal for kids their age to be promiscuous like that. Even though Dr. Drew might tell the kid on the show the dangers and risks of being promiscuous doesn't mean the kids watching are going to remember that point. They all think "Oh it won't happen to me."

I'd like to have a daughter at some point, I really would. Do I intend to make her follow the same strict standards I grew up with? No, of course not - being strict on your kids only pushes them away and makes them go behind your back. But at the same time, I'm not going to let my kid think it's okay to run around like a hoochie momma and start having sex the second she has interest in boys. I want to be the cool mom, like I've seen some of my friends parents be, but at the same time, still have standards and family values and teach them to my kids - that is still possible, right?

Okay so this kind of turned into a rant. Please feel free to read he article and comment about it!

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